Monday, April 18, 2011

Random Facts About Me

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After looking at a fellow bloggers blog post I decided to do as she did, post random facts about myself. I have been on Blogspot for quite a while and I have to say that I wish I had more of a relationship with fellow bloggers. I use to have a Yahoo 360 which was so interactive with other bloggers. I miss my fellow bloggers

7 Random Facts About Me::

1. I write in 6 journals each journal has a different theme and depending on how I feel depends on what journal I pick up
2. I want to publish my book of poetry
3. I would love to paint more
4. I live in my dreams at times, taking trips on magical carpet rides
5. I wish I had more artistic friends (Miss My Coffee Shop Friends)
6. I want to learn to play the piano and the guitar and write and sing music
7. I want to travel the world

I guess you could say this is a BUCKET LIST of sorts

Artwork by

Taken Idea From:

Sunday, April 17, 2011


I'm leaving this place and I want to see the world! Destination UNCHARTED
Ryan/Bryan and I will leave TODAY
Hop on a plan and travel, travel, travel
New York, London, Paris, Rome, Florida Keys
We make our own destiny
I'm 17 now going to Be 18 July 29th
We will make music together and write and do whatever we want to
No children
This is the Story of US

Alanis Morissette

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


T.S Elliot wrote: We shall not cease from Exploration an the End of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and KNOW THE PLACE FOR THE FIRST TIME

   All along I see how Love has been right by my side, guiding me, helping me and encouraging me.I know I thought  I had to be a Super Hero to receive this Love that was given to me so freely. NOW, I know that it was given UNCONDITIONALLY. Do we teach ourselves to dislike things? Do we want to be accepted? Do we challenge ourselves at the cost of MORTAL DEATH? I had conditioned my Inner Critic to say, "YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH". THIS IS BULLSHIT, totally I am good enough, smart enough, and lovable enough. I have run out of places to hide, I AM FOUND after being LOST for so many years.

  My blood circulation was cut off at the early age of 16, this is when I chose to PRONOUNCE myself DEAD to everyone. The acts in my play after the age of 16 were all under the Direction of ME, or so I thought. I drank from the Fountain of Innocence and I PROCLAIM MYSELF, ALIVE! Alive to love, live, and laugh. To have FUN, what is FUN TO ME? Not really sure about all the things I think are FUN. I do know that as of right now, this day I TAKE AN OATH TO HAVE FUN AND ALL MORE OF IT! No More taking care of everyone else, it's ME TIME. I don't have a ROAD MAP or a PLAN, but I know that whatever I will be doing, I will HAVE FUN!

Note to SELF: Write Bucket List
Note to Reader: I can't spell to save my life, looking for a great ediror to collaborate
with for my poetry book

Painting from: Chagall earlier works:


Monday, April 11, 2011

My Secret Garden - Open Wide

In finding ones self we find so much more
Where are the answers? They lie within our souls
The root of every tree goes deep into the earth
What all of us wants is to be understood
Truth is that if you don't search inside of yourself
For truly who YOU ARE
How can you really know what you want
Robots are just that, robotical instruments
They lack feeling and depth
A HUMAN BEING has Heart and Soul
Red blood does circulate within these veins
If you are always pleasing everyone else
How can you EVER BE HAPPY?
I prefer not to hurt other people or see them hurt
Sometimes it is through the HURT that we find
TRUTH of the person that was looking at us
In the mirror, although it is not the mirror that we see
It is the SOUL

Open Wide and Growing with my CONSTANT GARDENER
No admission necessary
FREE to all those who come to visit

Note to Mom and Dad: Thank you for tending MY SECRET GARDEN
You have truly shown me what TRUE LOVE IS

Note to My friends: Thank you for loving me even when I didn't know how to love

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Open Up My Eyes

Everything is going to be alright
In deep confusion in great despair
When I'm as lonely as I can Be
Blessed from above
~Van Morrison

Put my feet back on Higher Ground
My Heaven My God My Love

Higher Power every day any hour
You see everything
You love my light and my Dark
My angels protect me daily
My roots are apparent
The leaves are growing
The flowers are bumming
My Secret Garden has been tended
The roots are growing deep into the earth
My family is here

Monday, April 4, 2011

My Beautiful Butterfly

My Beautiful Butterfly

I've seen myself through my daughters eyes. It's almost like my MOM came back to life as my daughter Chloe who is now 7. My mother died 6 months prior to me giving birth to my dear sweet angel,
Chloe Marie. I can recall being to ANGRY at my mother for not taking better care of herself so that she could be around for Chloe's birth. I needed her so badly then. Chloe was born with a heart defect, basically the two chambers inside of her heart were going in opposite directions. After birth, that night Chloe was flown to Tulane Hospital in New Orleans, LA. I stayed with her in PICU for 2 weeks prior to her surgery. She basically didn't have enough strength to suck a bottle at this time. Old timers use to call it BLUE BABY. After the two weeks Chloe had surgery but still remained hospitalized for quite some time after. While  the surgeon repaired her arteries he nicked the AV Nodes, which supplies electricity to the heart. As I peered over her fragile body the opening to her chest was covered with see through bandages.
 I could actually see her human heart. The LIFE which was inside me and the LIFE that was outside of ME.

 God entrusted me with this little Angel of LIGHT that saved my soul. The Truth is both of my Children raised me. I now know how much LOVE I have and others have for me! God is so amazing and glorious!

Note to God: I see her wings, they are hot pink and yellow......FLY LIKE A BUTTERFLY sting LIKE A BEE

- Rev Up Your Engine - LET IT FLOW

Taken From Heaven Letters:

God said:
Automatic. Love is automatic. Only you have stepped in and tried to boss love around. You want love to appear on signal. You want to dress it up. You want to whip it into shape.
The word love may be too much for you to handle. Then use the word care. Can you admit that you are a caring person? Can you tell Me that you do not care? You care a lot. Your caring may be skewed, but that you are someone who cares cannot be in dispute. You care deeply even for all that which you say you do not care about.
Perhaps as a child, you did not care about school. Or did you? Even in boredom and antipathy, you cared. You may have cared so much that you turned off your caring.
Later in romance, you cared so much that, when the one you cared about did not return your caring, your caring turned around into not caring.
Will you turn on the lights of your love once again, and just love, and love some more, and, now, in your heart and in your mind, greet all those you had turned your heart from. Allow yourself to care.
Care about yourself as well.
Some would call this caring the same as forgiving. Even erase forgiving, and just admit you care. If you had not cared, you would not have hardened your heart. A hardened heart is a heart that spoke. The heart said: “I will NOT care. I will cast this person or this event or series of events from my heart. I will evict whatever hurts from my heart of hearts. Period. I will not let someone or something stay within. I turn them out. I put up a sign in big red letters: ‘No admittance.’ I put up another sign: ‘Stay out.’”
And so you let discordance in. You close your heart and say: “Hardeners, welcome.” “Firmness, welcome.” “Fierceness, welcome.” “Ice, welcome.” “Grit, welcome.” “Sandpaper, welcome.” “Abrasion, welcome.” And, so, your heart becomes rust.

I HAVE A HEART OF GOLD, Now melt the gold of your heart so that it can once again flow through every corner of the world.
Your love can be silent. You can carry on love in silence. And yet your love will be heard. You will hear it. You will hear the rush and flow of love, and you will be inundated with it and the love in your heart will open its reserve, and the world will once again be the land of milk and honey. Flow gently, heart of love.
Your heart is meant to change the world. By the love flowing in your heart, the world will change. All your demands and insistence that the world reform are counter-productive. All your instructions are naught. All your knowing better how the world should turn is naught. All your superiority is naught. Love alone prevails.
Start with love. Start love up. Even if your heart has been like an antique car in the garage, turn that crank. Rev up that car. Zoom with it. Restore this garaged heart of yours and let it take off. Let it get going again. Turn on the ignition. Turn on the lights of your heart. Back out of the driveway, and then shift gears. Even an unused boarded-up heart can shift gears.

Note To God:  God, I will let my Antique Car out of the driveway and shine it right up.I may need a Tune Up but I have all the parts inside my hood. I CARE, MY HEART IS OPEN, I'm Reving up my ENGINE ready to go this Journey is my future what shall I find on my Journey?
A life filled with TRUE LOVE

Note To The Person's I have hardened my heart towards: Mom, Dad, Janelle (Sister), My high school friends, Katie, Kathy, Kellie, Kay, Claire, Crissy, Simone, Carol Anne, Lisa. My family, Aunt Jackie and Uncle Larry, Paw Paw and Maw Maw, Hailey, Chloe, Jason and Penny  and Most of all to MYSELF, no more self hatred


Sunday, April 3, 2011

Letter To GOD

Find this fine artist Thad Morgan:

 The Road of the less Traveled is the path I chose for most of my life, God has guided me on this same road to the Journey of my Creative Mind where I meet many travelers today and every day. In the past when I was traveling that old road I plowed down way too many fields and made my own road. Even on that old road I found love, faith, and my holy spirit. Today I'm one with my maker and my journey. The difference now is Jesus is my Best Friend, not the Holier than though man I thought he was.

 There were many battles on my old road but Jesus held my hand even when I was in doubt. He showed me the wonders of nature and the lights of the Sun. I was such a wanderer in my past life and I studied people and their behavior, mocking it at times. That old saying Fake it Till You Make It, well that was me. All the while My rose colored glasses didn't allow me to see the REAL TRUTH. Today I see that truth ever so clearly. I chose today to love and love abundantly who I am and who you are. I always believed in myself but I wasn't quite sure why I did. God made me to LOVE and share my gifts with the world. I have so much talent but I didn't truly believe in me as much as I do today.

  Today I chose not to RUN, I've traded in my track shoes for a DREAM that I'm living ever single day of my life. God may not give you exactly what you think you need but He will give to you in so many ways. God is running his fingers on my heart as if he were FINGER PAINTING IT.

Not to God: Thank you for carrying me, holding my HAND, brushing the hair away from my face, holding me tightly through my nightmares, sitting with me on the Train, watching me grow, and most of all Thank you for the Abundant LOVE you show me every day, you are my BEST FRIEND

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Abstract of Heart

Gentle Spirit, one of true beauty
Travel if you will
To a land in TIME
Soar through the deep waters
Tread amongst the Serpents
Unleash your armour
Stand Naked, Uninhibited, Unafraid
For all the world to see'
A muse for your soul
Strokes of lavender and yellow
Abstract of Heart
Circled with Growth of Green
By the Constant Gardener

~Karina D'Aunoy

note to self: I'm open and doing my mission here on earth, I stand NAKED and it never felt so very good
Thank you to the gods, the spirits, to MY GOD and to the CREATIVE SOULS, I tread amongst you and I fear not

Beautiful Paintings by:

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