T.S Elliot wrote: We shall not cease from Exploration an the End of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and KNOW THE PLACE FOR THE FIRST TIME
All along I see how Love has been right by my side, guiding me, helping me and encouraging me.I know I thought I had to be a Super Hero to receive this Love that was given to me so freely. NOW, I know that it was given UNCONDITIONALLY. Do we teach ourselves to dislike things? Do we want to be accepted? Do we challenge ourselves at the cost of MORTAL DEATH? I had conditioned my Inner Critic to say, "YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH". THIS IS BULLSHIT, totally I am good enough, smart enough, and lovable enough. I have run out of places to hide, I AM FOUND after being LOST for so many years.
My blood circulation was cut off at the early age of 16, this is when I chose to PRONOUNCE myself DEAD to everyone. The acts in my play after the age of 16 were all under the Direction of ME, or so I thought. I drank from the Fountain of Innocence and I PROCLAIM MYSELF, ALIVE! Alive to love, live, and laugh. To have FUN, what is FUN TO ME? Not really sure about all the things I think are FUN. I do know that as of right now, this day I TAKE AN OATH TO HAVE FUN AND ALL MORE OF IT! No More taking care of everyone else, it's ME TIME. I don't have a ROAD MAP or a PLAN, but I know that whatever I will be doing, I will HAVE FUN!
Note to SELF: Write Bucket List
Note to Reader: I can't spell to save my life, looking for a great ediror to collaborate
with for my poetry book
Painting from: Chagall earlier works:
Wow I was scanning through, I am so behind and trying so hard to catch up, and this stopped me. So profound and I deep. I hope you have fun! Go for it! You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteLike the Bucket List too.
God Bless!