Sunday, January 16, 2011

To be continued until further notice........

I wil be away from you sweet journal but I will be back
Oh precious flowered journal of mine
Thank you for giving me the gift of my LIFE
ME, oh yeah Thanks God I love you soooooooooomuch Daddy and mom too

Friday, January 14, 2011

Destiny - "Love Never Fails"

You know how you know what you want to do and what you should do
My destiny is in my dreams the written word to calm the soul
TO move my spirit to dance
to sing to the rooftops
I created a world that I tolerated for way too long
I was hurt, I taught myself to NOT LOVE OR BE LOVED
Why I have no idea
Someone hurt me a long time ago
They hurt my mother
I wanted to be like everyone else
But I wasn't
I knew I was always different
I know I have a gift
I must share
I will share
I will LOVE abundantley
And be loved right where I am
Do I wish I were 17 again and graduating with all my friends?
Yes, I regret that I ran from them
James Taylor "You've Got A Friend" saved my life
I never realized how many friends I had that love me for me
Not for anything else
My heart is about to burst
I have a brother I have a sister
I have a Hailey I have a Chloe I have a Ethan Jacob
I wish to see my son if only for a moment
The little boy growing
I want him to know he was ALWAYS WANTED
I can recall my mother's face at bedside
When she saw you
"I have a son mom, look at me"
ONE last breathe did you take and you were gone
I did your hair when you were ice cold body laying on a slab
You were not there only in human form
I know you sent me Chloe ~ she knows you so well
She is so strong mom, she is independent and brave
You love me so very much
In your eyes I could rope the moon
I'm a dreamer and I have my foundation
I'm the Peaceful Sun and he is the Strong Tree
"Love Never Fails"

I miss you mom, I recall on this day how I use to sit on your lap
You made everything OK

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Window To My Soul

You Opened the window to my soul
You came
You had faith
You trusted
And You Knew
I would not falter
Disgusted with who I was then
Believing it wasn't me
Knowing it was me
That made the decision
To kill what was inside me TWICE
To go against my vows
To loose trust
To know that wasn't the life I was meant to have
That wasn't the person that I am
Cheating myself
Cheating You
I will always love you for loving me
And for giving me the most beautiful gift in the world

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

His Death/My Words - Shakespeare

Full Many A Glorious Morning Have I seen (Sonnet 33)
by: William Shakespeare

Full Many a glorious morning have I seen
Flatter the moutain-tops with sovereign eye,
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,
Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy,
Anon permit the basest clouds to ride
With ugly rack on his celestial face,
And from the forlorn world his visage hide,
Stealing unseen to west with this disgrace:
Even so my sun one early morn did shine
WIth all-triumphant splendour on my brow,
But, out! alack! he was but one hour mine;
The region cloud hath masked him from me now.
Yet him for this my love no whit desdaineth;
Suns of the world may stain when heaven's sun staineth.

I chose to read from Shakespeare's mouth at my father's funeral little did I know that I wouldn't be able to speak once I reflected on his death standing at the podium, what did I think of most? I thought how much he loved my mother, and how he took care of her at the end of her life. He was not a man of many words, he was a many that knew, he knew deep inside that love is ACTION. He put his love into action by providing for his family and loving us the only way he knew how. As I stood at the podium reflecting on my father's death and life I thought of my husband, the love of my life. He loves me the way my father loved my mother and I never realized how important it was that I have a man that loved with a Servant Heart, my father had the same Servant Heart. On this day I'm reflecting on the LOVE of my father and how grateful I am that God allowed me to see Dad through HIS eyes. I miss you daddy I will always be your Paputsy.

Memory: I can recall dad bringing me to Uncle Lloyd's house, his older brother many times as a child.  My father loved all of his  brothers and sisters, probably more than I realized at that time. Every time someone would come to our house, he would show them the famous picture of all of his family with their spouses. My father was a caring, gentle soul who always wanted PEACE, as Father Sigur would say
"Peace Be With You"

Note to self: Find more of dad's family 

Monday, January 10, 2011

Paint Your Dreams

"You choose the Life you Live! We have choices, challenges, and triumphs on our Journey. What we do with what we have learned and what we believe is up to us....God is not Above Us, He is in US"


Painting by Mar Chagall a man who painted His Dreams

Note to self: write more, I miss my yahoo 360 friends

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Monday, January 3, 2011


We all started out creatively free. Remember the sandbox? All you needed was warm toes in bare sand and maybe a good bucket. Then you could build your own world made of castles with kings and queens.
In school things changed, the chairs were all in rows and trees were to be colored green instead of purple. If you lived in a world of purple trees you probably learned how to hide it. I remember my sky were always pink and my trees were just about any color I could imagine. I remember in school asking the teacher if I had to sit in a chair in the classroom, why couldn't I sit on the floor? Well, she basically told me this is how it was done in school. This is when I  began to hide my creative thinking.

  Why do things have to be a certain way? Why can't we make up our own rules? Why can't my trees be purple or orange? I like to think outside the box, that is what makes life fun! Creative Thinking is what makes my mind free, free to explore new ideas and ways of looking at the same object from different points of view.
When did you start to hide your Creative Thought? Do you still have Creative Thought? How do you express your thoughts? Yes, I'm full of ideas and questions, that is part of MY CREATIVE THINKING, I love to know what others ponder.

Note to self: Get in touch with MORE CREATIVE THINKERS

Journey of A Creative Mind: "JOURNEY TO THE JEANS"

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