Showing posts with label Writer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writer. Show all posts

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Time To Write My Own Script


THE END
The end of what? The end of the LIFE that was lived to please others! The end of the LIFE that you thought you were suppose to be in. The end of the little girl catering to the family dynamics, the HERO child is FUCKING sick of being the HERO! The True authentic self has risen from the dead. My mind no longer blocked from Fucking TRAUMA, don't EVEN feel sorry for me. I NEVER ever want potty. That is the worst thing anyone can do is treat me with pity. I'm a FUCKING warrior who's been in battle all her LIFE. The scars you see I wear proudly!!!!!! You see I was always the PROPER girl, the one who had to never drink, never smoke, never have sex, and GOD forbid I have fun, really what is FUN? I'm using FUCK allot here because it's such a freeing word right now. I NEVER ever use to curse, God forbid I curse. Right here you may think I'm going to place the blame on my parents......well Gotcha! I developed this family dynamic in my own head as a child. DID my parents contribute to my family dynamics, yes OFCOURSE! The dominant screaming mother, the passive father who just wanted peace (oh yeah he molested me as a child), the PSYCHO sister who was deviant, alcoholic drug head. Yes, OFCOURSE these beings had some role to play in my Play. I was such a great Director, or so I thought! What my play lacked was a different Main Character, the HERO With a Voice! The Hero child that was able to be a child. Ok should we even call her a HERO child? That's the retake right there. She took on too much as a young child. She missed some steps, she didn't know that she could be a real kid with real feelings that belonged to her. The ROBOT has truly broken! The Repairman not needed! She has a reboot button and she can repair herself and when she hits reboot, she turns into a HUMAN who writes her soul and isn't afraid if ANYONE READS it, her stories must be told! Her puzzles don't need to be finished. Her art is in progress and "HER" LIFE begins!!!!! She makes NO EXCUSES for who She IS! 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Book Begins.......





Have you ever felt like you were truly called to do something? Knowing your calling is half the battle, actually doing what we are called to do is the ultimate challenge. Have you ever traveled down the same road at least three times taking different routes only to find yourself at the same point where you started? My LIVE travels have taken me down that inevitable DEAD END many times but I chose to plow down the field and find new paths. Yes, I have taken the road less traveled too many times to recall. The stars are aligned, the calling apparent, and a New Journey is at hand. No longer blinded by the Sun I see my vision and my goal.

Just as Jesus chose to cover the Blind Beggar's eyes with mud and AWAKEN him to the LIGHT, He has chosen me for this path I call, "Journey Of A Creative Mind". I have found my purpose through Self Discovery and My Higher Power which I chose to call GOD. In finding PURPOSE we find out who we are and why we are HERE and what we were created to do.
"A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree." ~The Purpose Driven Life. Make no mistake; I've searched for what I ultimately call God through many paths and avenues. I'm not one to be "Holier than Thou", but I do find comfort in knowing I'm part of a BIGGER PICTURE. I won't bore you with the long sob story, but it's a miracle that I'm ALIVE. God (Higher Power) made sure I was saved from the depths of my despair and I'm alive to tell my story. I guess that is what this blog is about, this is my PURPOSE to share my inner peace, challenges, trials, tribulations, and triumphs.

Thank you first and foremost to GOD for never leaving my side and for my mother's unconditional love. My mother always knew I had a gift, little did she know truly what that was. This former people pleasing cheerleader now truly has something to cheer about, the gift of self-expression through the written word. I feel like a young girl taking her first Ferris wheel ride, ready to go round and round.

After reading this month's addition of The Oprah Magazine, "What I know for sure: There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It's why you were born. And how you become most truly alive." quotes Oprah. Here is a quote Oprah uses by Mechthild of Magdeburg, a medieval mystic: "A fish cannot drown in water. A bird does not fall in air. Each creature God made must live in its own true nature." Funny thing is that most of my life I've felt I was living in my True Element of Nature but I only ventured down that road only to turn around. Most of my adolescence, teen, and adult life I was doing what I thought everyone expected of me. How awful, to live a life that you thought others wanted you to live. Reaching my adult years I was a successful marketing and sales representative and truth be told I was miserable. I wasn't a true salesperson; I was more of a motivator (Cheerleader) and a team player who was happy making everyone else's dreams come true, what a pity.

Read this piece ~TAKEN FROM: Mark Nepo's Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

"Part of the blessing and challenge of being human is that we must discover our own true God-given nature. This is not some noble, abstract quest but an inner necessity. For only by living in our own element can we thrive without anxiety. And since human beings are the only life form that can drown and still go to work, the only species that can fall from the sky and still fold laundry, it is imperative that we find that vital element that brings us alive... the true vitality that waits beneath all occupations for us to tap into, if we can discover what we love. If you feel energy and excitement and a sense that life is happening for the first time, you are probably near your God-given nature. Joy in what we do is not an added feature; it is a sign of deep health."

Words well spoken! Well, as for my title of this blog, "The Book Begins", I'm putting my goal out there! I was given a journal by a dear friend of mine when I was 16 and since then I haven't stopped writing. When I write I'm at home in my Garden of Creation, my TRUE NATURE. When I write, I find purpose in the world, my God, and the human nature of others.

Many years ago a dear friend painted this painting that is posted when we’re blogging on Yahoo 360. I was immediately drawn to this wonderful masterpiece, because I saw ME. This is who I wanted to be, naked, uninhibited on my journey and at peace with the world. This is the cover of my book.

The Book Begins.........

note to self: You are a writer
note to reader: I need an editor

Friday, September 23, 2011

AFFIRMATIONS - NO MORE DIGGING UP PAIN

Artwork Done By Wonderul Artist Pomegranate Doyle:
http://www.pomegranatedoyle.com/gallery)

Some people enjoy digging up pain, they relish in it! As for me, if I've overcome something it's time for me to move on. There must be peace after you've walked through that pain. If you're not at Peace with who you are and where you've come from, perhaps more work needs to be done. I can say that although my life is far from PERFECT, I'm at peace with who I AM, sadly not many people can say that. My believe in God allowed me to be at PEACE with Me, Myself, and I. Wow, it feels so DAMN GOOD! Finally I don't have to have that BIG ass boxing glove punching me in the face. Yes, I have plowed down many fields to make my own path, but I still found my destination and I walk on that path today. With God by my side, carrying me at times, taking my head out of the clouds and standing on my foundation. The Warrior at battle sometimes, but able to FIGHT. Many of us don't know who we are battling at times, but when you battle yourself there is sure to be DEEP DESTRUCTION! Finding my PURPOSE and knowing who I AM releases me from BONDAGE. I'm GOD'S CHILD, I'm a WONDERFUL WIFE AND MOTHER, I'm WEIRD, I'm A NERD, I'm GIFTED, I'm always for the UNDERDOG, I'm A WRITER, I'm A POET, I'm A PAINTER, I'm A JEWELRY DESIGNER, I'm NOT MISUNDERSTOOD!


note to reader: I'm a horrible at spelling and I've lost some of my grammar skills so bare with me on my journey

note to self: Affirmation Are Good For The Soul

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